


Mockingjay 2.0

by Katniss 701 (Jupiter_mountainstone)



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games (Movies)
Genre: Captured Katniss Everdeen, Dark Katniss Everdeen, F/M, Hijacked Katniss Everdeen, Work Up For Adoption
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-16
Updated: 2019-05-16
Packaged: 2020-03-06 08:10:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18847054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jupiter_mountainstone/pseuds/Katniss%20701
Summary: "It's the things we love the most that destroy us."~President Snow, Mockingjay part 1Katniss sacrafies herself for Peeta and the other victors that were captured by the Capitol. She goes to the Capitol and District 13 gets the other victors.(first 2 to 3 chapters are from the original book)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this around 2015 so there's probably a thousand spelling errors. I'm Swedish and wasn't very good at English, so I apologize so very, very much to whoever is reading this.

**_Part 1- tha ash_ **

_Katniss_

I stare down at my shoes and see a thin layer of ash land on the out weared leather. Here did the bed I shared with my sister Prim stand. Over there stood the kitchen table. It was only the pile of burnt bricks that showed me where the house standed. How would I else find in this grey ocean? There is almost nothing left of District 12. Now it's been a month sinse the Capitol's bombing destroyed the poor coal minners in the Seam and the stores in town- even the Justice building.

The only area that was spared was the victors village. Why, I don't know. Maybe for those who go here on a mission from the Capitol will have a good house to live in. Maybe for a group Peacekeepers, searching for returning people. But I wasn't alone of returning here.

And I'm only here on a short visit. The leaders of District 13 didn't want me to return. They said it was pointless since a dozen of invisible hover-crafts are circling above me to protect me. There's no information to get here. But I have to see. It was so inportant for me that I put it on my list of conditions to be a part in their plans. In the end did Plutarch Heavensbee give up. He was the head-gamemaker and the one who organized the rebels in the Capitol.

"Let her go." He said throwing his arms up. "It's better waisting a day than another hole month. Maybe a little tour to twelve is what she nedd to convince her that we are on the same side."

Same side. It comes a stab of pain from the side of my head and I press my hand against it. Exactly there did Johanna Mason hit me with the coil. What concidences have led to me standing in the ruins of my hometown? Memories whirl around when I try to sort whats real and whats not real. Aftereffects from the concussion Johanna gave me haven't given up and my thought easily tangle up in another, so it's not an easy task. And somtimes I hallucinate thanks to the medecine I get to the pain and depression.

I think. I am still not completly convinced it was a hallucination that night in the hospital when a carpet transformed into snakes. I use a tecnic like the doctors suggested. I start with the obviouss things I know is true and work up to the harder things. The list start to tick in my head...

_My name is Katniss Everdeen. I am seventeen years old. I come from District 12. I was in the Hunger Games. I escaped. The Capitol hates me. Peeta is captured. He is thought being dead. He is most likely dead. It's possibly the best if he is dead..._

"Katniss, do you want me to come down?" My best friend Gale's voice reach me trough the headset the rebels forced me to wear. He is in a hover-craft where he is watching me carefully. The hover-craft can land quickly if something happens. I notice that I stand with my elbows on my thights and me head between my hands. It has to look like I'm on the edge of some kind of breakdown. I can't behave like that, not now when I finally have started get used to the medecines.

I stand straight and decline the offer. "No, I am okey." To make it clear about this I start walking from my old home and into town. Gale asked to be let down in twelve togheter with me but I directly I declined and said no to company. He understand that I don't want anybody with me today. Not even him. Some walks you have to take alone.

The summer was burning warm and warm as a desert. It has have almost not come any rain to spread the ash piles after the attack. When I walk by some ash fall here and there, but no wind spread it. I keep my eyes on what I remember was the road. When I just had landed in the meadow I was uncareful and hit a stone, but it was no stone, it was someones skull. It rolled around before it stopped with the face up.

I stod long not being able to stop stairing from the teeth and wondred who's it could be. I think my teeth would probably look the same in similar circumstances. It's an old habbit I keep to te road, but it was a bad choice, because it's full of strangers that tried to escape. Some got cremated, when other succeeded to escape the flames and died of the smoke. Now they all lay and stinck in diffrent stages of dicomposing. Food for scavengers, completly covered in flys.  _I killed you_ I think when I walk past a pile.  _And you. And you._

Because like that it was. It was my arrow, pointed at the flaw in the force-field around the arena, that made this firestorm to recompense. And throwed Panem out in chaos. Inside me I hear president Snow's words he said to me the morning I were going for the victory tour. _"Katniss Everdeen, the girl on fire, you have showed that you are some glowing coal that uncontrolled can grow into a wildfire that destroys Panem."_ It turns out he didn't overdid or try to scare me. He maybe actully tried to get help from me. But the powers I already then had put in moving was to powerfull to stop.

The wildfire catched with and is still burning, I think like I'm numb. The fire in the coalmines let out black smoke in the horizon, but there is no one left to care about it. More than ninthy precent of the Districts people died. The about eight-hundred living people is in District 13-wich is as far as I am concerned the same as being homeless forever. I know I shouldn't be thinking like that. I should be happy for how we get taken-care of. Sick, wounded, staving and emptyhanded.

Anyway will I never forget that District 13 was behind District 12 being smoothed to the ground. It dosen't make me the responsible-it could be many to blame on. But if it wasn't for District 13 I would never become a bigger part in the plan of taking down the Capitol. And I could never had planned it myself. There was no organized resistance movements in District 12. People there had nothing to say about anything, they were affected with the bad luck of having me.

But some of the survivors think they have luck of getting fried from District 12. They don't have to suffer of never ending hunger and the oppression; the dangerous mines and our last head-peacekeeper Romulus Thread's whip. That we actully got a new home seems to be a miracle, since we didn't even know District 13 exist until not so long ago.

It was Gale who got the whole honour for the survivers succeeded to flee, even if he didn't want the honour. As soon as the Quarter Quell was over- as soon I were lifted out of the arena- did the electicy break in District 12, the televisions went off and it got so quit in the Seam the people could hear eachother heartbeats. No one did anything to protest or celebrate what happened in the arena. Even if it were swarming with hover-crafts over the area within 15 minutes and it started raining bombs.

It was Gale that thought about the meadow, one of the only places that weren't full of coaldust-covered treehouses. Everyone he got he dragged there, including my mom and Prim. He collected a gang that thore the fence down -when the electricy was off it was just a chain-fence-and then leaded the people out into the forrest. He took them to the only place he could think of, to the lake my father showed me when I was little. And from there they watched the flames that destroyed everything they knew in the world.

In the dawn was the bomb-planes since long gone and the flaes were starting to die down. The last stragglers gathered together. Mother and Prim had made a camp for all the hurt and tried as hard they could to care on them with herbs and other things they could find in the forrest. Gale had to get food to over eight hunered scared people with 2 bow and arrows, a hunting knife and a fishing net. He got help of them that was fit for work and they had be fine for 3 days, when a hover-craft unexpected showed up to evacuate them to District 13.

There was clean, white apartments, lots of clothes and three meals of food a day. It lasted and got left-overs for everyone. The apartments had the disadvantage of laying under-ground, the clothes were identical and the food was pretty taste-less, but for the refugees it didn't matter. They were in safety and got taken care of, they lived and they were greated with open arms.

The heart-warming welcome were taken as consideration. But the man with the name Dalton, who had arrived by foot as a escaper from District 10 a few years earlier, told me the real reason. "They need you and me, everyone. For a while ago had some kind of epedemic that killed a whole group of people and did even more infertilited. They look at us like some kind of breeding animals."

He got abselutely right, because there is in no way enough kids in District 13. But does it matter? We aren't held in the pen, we get learn to work and the children get's to go in school. Everyone over 14 years gets recruits in the army and gets respectful talked to with 'soldier'. All of the refugees got automatic citizenship in 13.

I hate them anyways. But of course, I hate most people nowdays. Most of all myself.

The ground under my feet hardens and under the ash layer I feel the stonepavement on the square. Around the square is a low field of ashes and broken house parts where all the stores were. A pile of black gravel have replaced the building of justice. Instead I go to the place where Peeta's familys bakery should have lied. There is not much left other than the melted oven. Neither Peeta's parents or 2 brothers made it to District 13. So Peeta would have nothing to come home to. Except me... My heart clenshes when I think of the moments I shared with Peeta.

I back away from the bakery before I cry and bump into something, lose my balance and find myself sitting on a clump of sun-warm metall. I wonder what it could be and then remember Threads last new laws on the square. Pilorys, whipping poles and this, left overs of the gallow. Not good. This is not good. I am hit of the same pictures that always tortures me, both when I am awake and when I sleep. The Capitol torture Peeta for information about the rebellion that he dosen't even know-he gets beated and electrified, assault him, drowns, burns, whipped.

I shut my eyes thightly and try to reach him hundrd miles away, try to send him my thoughts, to make him know he is not alone. But he is. And I can't help him.

Run. Away from this place and to the only place the fire haven't destroyed. I pass the ruins of the mayors house, where my friend Madge lived. We don't know about her and her family. Was they evacuated to the Capitol for her fathers position or were they left to the flames? The ash fly around me and I lift the shirt arm to my mouth. It's not what I breath, it's  _who_ , that threats to shoke me.

The grass is black-burnt and grey snow have falled even here, but the twelve nice houses in the Victors Village are in one piece. I dart into the house where I have lived the past year, close the door with a bang and lean against it. The place looks un touched. Clean. Awfully quit. Why did I come back to the District? How can this visit help me escape the question I can't escape from?

"What am I going to do?" I whisper to the walls. I don't have a clue.

People talk to me the whole time, talks, talks and talks. Plutarch Heavensbee. His assistant Fulvia Cardew. A sea of inportant people and military servicemens. Everyone except Alma Coin, the Districts president, who only watches. She is about fifthy years old and has grey hair that falls straight and diciplined to her shoulders. That hair fascinate me, it's so perfect and irreproachable, without any curls or even split tips. Her eyes are grey, not like the people of the Seam, but pale, almost as if all colour have been sucked out of them-the same colour as snow-slush you want to melt.

What they want is that I should fully take on the role they have created for me: the revolutionsymbol, the Mockingjay. The things I did earlier- threatened the Capitol in the Hunger Games and been a brave person- isn't enough. Now I have to be the real leader, the face and voice, the revolution in one.

The most Districts is in war against the Capitol and I will be a beacon on the way to victory. I don't need to do it alone. They have a whole team of people that can re-make me, dress me, write speaches for me, score my appearances-wich sounds awfully familiar-and the only thing I have to do is play my role. Sometimes I listen and sometimes I just view Coin's perfect hair and try to determine if the hair is a wig.

Eventually I have to leave the room because my head start to ache or because it's dinnertime or because I will start screaming if I don't get to go out to get fresh air. I never say anything. I just rise and leave. Yesterday afternoon, when the door was about to close behind me, I heard Coin say: "I told you we should have rescued the boy first." She ment Peeta. I think just like her. He would be a perfect speaker.

And who did they pick up from the arena instead? Me, who isn't cooperative. Beetee, a old inventour from District 3 that I don't get to meet very often because he were dragged away to weponary apartment in the same time he could sit up-straight. Seriously. They drove away his hospitalbed to some sort of secret place and now he only show up time to time when it's dinner. He is very smart and very coooperative to deal with the fight, but he dosen't really have a choice.

Then we have Finnick Odair, the sexsymbol from the fishing District that kept Peeta alive in the arena when I couldn't. They also want to make Finnick a revolution leader, but first he have to be awake more than five minutes straight. Even if he is awake you have to say everything over three times for it to reach him. The doctors says it's because of the electric shock he got in the arena, but I know it's much more complicated than that.

I know that Finnick can't concentrate on anything in District 13 because all his energy goes to trying to understand whats happening to Annie in the Capitol-the crazy girl from his District that is the only human in the world he loves.

Against serious doubts I had to forgive Finnick for his role in the conspiracy against me. He has at least a little guess in what I am going trough. And it takes to much power to continue to be angry at someone who crys so much.

I sneak trough the bottomfloor huntingly to not be heard. I pick up a few memory things: a picture of my parents from their wedding day, a blue ribbon for Prim and the familybook with medical herbs and eatable plants. The book open by it self on a page with yellow flowers and I quickly close it because it wash Peeta's brush that painted them.

_What am I gonna do?_

Is it even a point to do anything really? Mother, Prim and Gale's family is finally in safety. The district other population is probably dead, wich is recoverable, or in safety in the neighbor District. Then the rebels in the other Districts. Of coarse I hate the Capitol, but I have very hard to belive that they who tries to overthrow it gets help if I play the Mockingjay. How can I help the Districts when all I do is leading them to either suffer or die?

The old man in District 11 got shot because he whistled, twelve were caused harder after I stopped the whipping of Gale, my stylist Cinna got beated bloody and got dragged away unconscious from the launching room just before the Games were about to begin. Plutarch's sources think he was murdered after the interrogation. The brilliant, puzzling and handsome Cinna is dead because of me. I push the thought away because it's too painful to think about it that I risk loosing my grasp on sanity.

_What should I do?_

To be the Mockingjay... is there anything I can carry out that would counterbalance all damage? Who can I confide that question to and get an answer? Obviously not that gang in District 13. I promise with all my heart that now when my family and Gale is in safety I could run away. But one problem remains... Peeta. If I knew for sure that he was dead, would I simply take of into the wild without looking back. And until I know how he is, I am stuck.

I turn my heel when I hear a hising sound. By the kitchen door stands the worlds ugliest male cat with his back in a bow and the ears back drawn. "Hello , Buttercup", I say. Thousands of people have died, but he have survived and even looks healthy. What have he lived of? He can come and leave as he want trough the window in the pantry that we always let be open. He must have eated wild-mices. The option I don't want to think about.

I bend down and stretch out my arm. "Come here, boy." Of cousre not. He is angry that he got abandoned. And I don't offer food and my ability to give him slaughter leftovers have always been my only reconciliation move in his eyes. For a while we used to meet in our old house since we both disliked the new one, and then it seemed like we were getting on each others good sides. But that time is apparently over now.

He blinks with his unpleasant yellow eyes. "Do you want to meet Prim?" The name catches his attention. Besides his own name is that word the only thing that means something to him. He miaow hoarsly and come closer. I pick him up, pet him and then walk to the closet where I digg out my hunting bag and stuff him inside without any other word. That is the only way to get him onto the hover-craft and he means so much for my younger sister.

Sadly haven't her goat Lady showed up, a animal that actully had a valuable. In the headset I hear Gale say that we have to return. But the hunting bag may have reminded me about another thing I want. I hang the bag in it's strap over the back of a chair and rush up the stairs to my bedroom. Inside the closet hangs my fathers hunting jacket. I brought it here from the old house before the Quell, because I thought it would bring my mother and Prim comfort when I was gone. Thank God for that, or it would be ash right now.

The soft leather feels comforting and for a short moment I become calm of memories of the hours when I were wrapped in it. Then my palms becomes unexcplainable sweaty. A weird feeling crawls up in the back of my neck. I spin around but the room is empty. Well cleaned, all things on their places. It was no sound that disturbed me. What was it then? It jerks in my nose. The smell. Stifling and artificial. A white spot looks up from a wase of dried flowers on my desk. I go there with carefull steps. Almost hidden behind it's concentrated cousins stands a white fresh rose.

Perfect in all thorns and the silky flower pedistals. And at once I realise who sended it to me.

President Snow.

When I start feeling nauseous by the smell I back away and evaporate. How long have the rose been there? A day? An hour? The rebels made a safety control in the Victors Village before I were allowed to come here, they were searching for explosives, microphones and other things that weren't as usual. They maybe thought that it wasn't anything to care about. But I do.

Downstairs I take the hunting bag from the chair and drag it careless over the floor until I remember that it is someone in it. On the lawn I wave frenetic to the hover-craft while Buttercup toss around like crazy. I smack him with my elbow but then he become furious. A hover-craft shows up and a ladder lowers down. I climb up and attach to the ladder with electrictiy until I get on-board.

Gale helps me from the ladder. "How is it?"

"Okay", I answer and dry the sweat from my face with my sleeve.

 _He left a rose for me!_  I want to yell, but isn't sure I should tell that in the precence of for excample Plutarch. Because for the first I will appear as crazy. Either have I imagined, wich would be inpossible, or I am over reacting, wich means a re-visit in the drug created world I try so badly to get away from. And no one will fully understand-that it isn't just a flower, not just President Snow's flower, but a promise of revenge. That's why he and I were alone in the office when he threated me before the victory tour.

Placed on my desk is that snow white rose a personally message to me. It is about something that isn't finished. The rose whispers:  _I can find you, I can reach you. Maybe I am watching you in this second._


	2. Chapter 2

_Katniss_

Is the Capitols hover-craft on it's way to blow us to bits? While we travel over District 12 I look out nervous after any signs on attack, but we aren't followed. After a few minutes I hear Plutarch and the pilot talk about the air way being free and then when I start to relax a bit. Gale nods to the howling that comes from the hunting bag. "Now I understand why you had to come back."

"If there was at least a smallest chance of finding him..." I put the bag down on a seat and the hateful creature growl sullen and persistent. "Ah, shut up", I say to the bag and sink down in the stuffed window-seat in front. Gale sits next to me. "Pretty bad down there, huh?" "Couldn't been much worse", I answer. 

I meet his eyes and see my own sadness be reflected there. Our hands find each other and hold together a part of twelve that Snow somehow have failed to destroy. We sit quit over the rest of the trip to thirteen, wich only takes forthy-five minutes. Not more than a week to walk. 

The refugees Bonnie and Twill from District 8, that I met in the forrest last winter, weren't actually far from the finish. But apperently didn't make it. When I asked them in thirteen there was no one knowing who I talked about. They may have died in the forrest. 

From the air thirteen looks just as cheerful as twelve. It dosen't smoke from the rubbles, like it does in the Capitols transmissions from there, but now there aren't anything living on the ground. Under the seventy-five years that have past since the dark days-when it was claimed that thirteen were wiped out in the war between the Capitol and the Districts-have almost all the new buildings been made under ground. Already earlier there was a extensive underground constructions here. 

It had grown under centuries to probably work as a secret place of refuge for those in power under war time or as a last sanctuary for humanity if it weren't able to keep living above ground. The thing that was the most meaningful for the Districts citizen was that this had been the Capitols centre for nuclear weapon development. 

Under the dark days took the rebels in thirteen over the control and pointed te nuclear weapons missiles to the Capitol. In that way could they reach a agreement for the citizen in thirteen would pretend to be dead in exchange to be left alone. The Capitol had another nuclear weapon arsenal far away in the west but couldn't attack thirteen without confirmed retaliation. Therefore was the agreement accepted.

The Capitol destroyed the visible parts of the District and cut of all contact with the world outside. Maybe the Capitol thought that thirteen was wiped out by itself. It had been close a few times, but the District had managed the crisists with help of strong discipline, constant watchfulness to the Capitol and through dividing all resources with millimetrejustice.

Now the population live almost totally shut out under earth. You are allowed to go out for exercise and sunshine but only for the times that are decided in every citizens daily schedule and the schedule have to be followed strictly.

 Every morning you stick your arm in a device in the wall. It tattoos the daily schedule on the forearms soft inside with disgusting purple ink. _7:00-brekfeast, 7:30-kitchen duty, 8:30-education centre, room 17._ And so on. The ink is able to delete at first by  _22:00-bathtime._ Then the inks waterbearing dissapered and the whole schedule rinse away. By half eleven it's bedtime and everyone that don't have nightshift will lay in bed.

At first, when I was so sick and were in the hospital, didn't have to have the stamp. But now when I have moved to compartment 307 with mother and Prim, I was excpected to follow the program. Apart from the meals I ignore the text on my arm. I basically return to our compartment, wander around in he District or go and sleep on some secluded place.

Maybe a abandoned airway or behind the pipes in the laundery-room. There is a storage in the education centre that is great, because they never seem to need education material. They are so economical with everything here that wasting is almost punishable. As luck is have the citizens int twelve never were wasting of them. 

But one time I saw Fulvia Cardew squeeze a paper arc with only a few words on and with the looks she got you could think she had murdered someone. She got tomato-red in her face, wich got the silver flowers on her round sheeks became more noticeable- a sense picture of luxury and vanity. 

One of my few amusement in thirteen is to watch when a handfull 'rebels' from the Capitol turn them selves upside down in their tries to fit in.

I don't know how long I can ignore in my hosts demands to follow the schedule to the last point. This far they leave me alone because I am seen as mentally disorientated-just those word stands on my hospital bracelet of plastic-and everyone has to come across themselves in my wander. But I can't be forever. Not either their patience with the Mockingjay-problem.

From the landing gear Gale and I walk the long stairs down to apartment 307. We could have taken the elevator, but it reminded me too much about the one that lifted me up in the arena. I have hard to adjust to be under earth so much. But after the surrealistic meeting with the rose I feel safe first when I start walking down the stairs.

I hesitate infront of the door with the numbers 307 and be faced with my familys questions.

"What will I say to them about twelve?" I ask Gale. "I doubt that they will ask about some details. They saw when it burnt. They are probably more worried about you." Gale thouch my cheek. "Just like me."

I press my face against his hand for a short moment. "I survive." Then I take a deep breath and open the door. Mother and Prim is home for  _18:00-consideration_ , a half hours brake before dinner. I see their worried faces when they try to judge my emotional status.

 Before anyone start asking question I empty the hunting bag and  _18:00-cat-adoreing_ begins. Prim just sit on the floor and cry as she rocks the horrible Buttercup that interrupt purring only to quickly hiss at me sometimes. He looks particulary self-satisfied on me when she puts the blue ribbon around his neck.

 My mother hugs the wedding photo hard against her chest and place it together with the book of herbs on top of the drawer we got. I hang fathers jacket on the back of a chair. A short moment seems the place like home. Probably was the visit to twelve not totally wasted after all.

We are on our way  to the cafeteria for  _18:30-dinner_  when Gale's wristradio start to peep. It looks like a big watch but acheive text messages. The right to have a wristradio is a special privilege for them who are important for the fight, a status Gale reached through saving the citizen from twelve.

"Us two need to arrive in the command room", he says. I walk a few steps behind Gale and try to collect myself before I get throwed into another ruthless Mockingjay discussion. I take time in the door opening to the command room, the high tecnogical combined meetingroom and combat leading centre with computerized speaking walls, electronic maps that show troopmovements in diffrent Districts and a gigantic rectangular table with control panels I ain't allowed to touch.

But no one notice me, because everyone is gathered in front a television in the back of the room. There shows the Capitols transmissions around the clock. I start to belive that I can sneak away when Plutarch sees me. His extensive body build have blocked the television but now he starts to eagery gesture to me to come to the other. 

I reluctant walk in that direction while I start to wonder why the television would interest me. It is always the same thing: war scenes, propaganda, replays of the bombings of District 12 and statements by President Snow. 

Therefore it's almost funny to see Caesar Flickerman, the Hunger Games eternal host with a face full of make-up and glittering costume. He is prepearing for a interview and I watch him amused- until the camera zooms out and I discover that Peeta is the guest in the studio.

It comes a sound from me, almost like one of those moaning sounds you do when you are under water so long the lack of oxygen starts to hurt. I push people aside until I stand right in front of him and lay my hand on the screen. In his eyes I search for any sign of injuries or a insinuation if he have been tortured. I don't see anything. Peeta looks healthy and almost strong and well being.

The flawless skin shine like if whole him were polished, he act gathered and seriously. I can't get the picture together with my nightmares assaulted, bleeding boy. 

Caesar place himself comfortable in the seat in front of Peeta and look at him for a long time. "Well... Peeta... Welcome back." Peeta fainthly smiles. "I bet you thought you had your last interview with me, Caesar." 

"I have to admit that that is the case", says Caesar. "The night before the Quarter Quell... well, was there anybody who belived we would get to see you again?"

"I hadn't planned it, that is one thing to be sure", answers Peeta worried. Caesar leans forward to him. "I think your plan was clear for everyone. You were going to sacrafice yourself in that arena so Katniss Everdeen and your child would survive."

"Like that was it. Simply." Peetas fingers follow a seam in the stuffed armchair. "But there were other people who had plans."

Right, other peole had plans, I think. So Peeta have realised how the rebels used us as gamepiece? How it was planned from the start that I would be rescued? And last but not least, that our mentor Haymitch Abernathany betrayed us for a thing he pretended not to be intressed by?

In the silence that follows I see the wrinkles between Peetas eyebrows. He have guessed or been informed. But the Capitol haven't killed or even punished im. My wildest hope have surpassed. I suck in myself in his perfection and enjoy of how healthy he is in body and soul. The experience flow through me in the same way the morphlin I got in the hospital as painkillers the latest couple of weeks.

"Can you tell us about the last night in the arena?" Caesar suggests. "And clear some things for us." peeta nods but take time before he answers. 

"The last night... to be able to explain... well, first you have to imagen how it felt in the. You was like an insect trapped in a glasscage full of steaming air. And around us were the jungle... green, alive, tiking. A giant clock where you life slowly ticked away. Every hour a new threat. You have to understand- under the two past twenty-four hours had sixteen people died- some of them to protect me. With that thought would the last eight before dawn. Except one, the victor. And your plan isn't that yourself will survive."

My body starts to sweat by the memory. My hand slip down the screen and get left hanging by my side motioness. peeta dosen't need a paint brush and colour to paint pictures from the games. He is just as good with words. 

"While you are in the arena, the rest of the world is very far away", he continues. "All the people and things you love or like almost cease to excist. The pink sky and the monsters in the jungle and the other tribeutes that want you dead gets the final reality, the only thing that have ever ment anything. How bad you ever feel about it, you have to be a part in the killing, because in the arena you only get on wish fulfilled. And the price is very high."

"It costs your life", says Caesar.

"Oh no. Much more than that. To kill innocent people?" says Peeta. "It costs everything you are." 

 " _Everything you are_ ", Caesar repeats. 

It have gone quit in the room and I feel how the silence spread over whole Panem. The whole nation lean forwards against the televisions, because no body has ever talked about how it is in the arena.

Peeta continues. "So you hold on to your wish. And that last night was my wish to save Katniss. But even if I didn't know the rebels plan, it was something hat didn't feel right. Everything was too complicated. I started to regret that we didn't escape like she sugessted that day. But it was already to late then."

"You were to involved with Beetees plan to electefy the sea", says Caesar. "Too busy pretend to be allied with the other. I should never have let them seperate us!" Peeta bursts out. "That's when I lost her."

"When you stayed by the tree and her and Johanna Mason took the wire down to the beach", Caesar made clear.

"I didn't want to!" Peeta is so upset he gets red in the face. "But i couldn't say against Beetee without revealing that we were going to leave the alliance. When the wire got cut madness broke out. I only remember small parts- my tries to find her, Brutus who killed Chaff and I killed Bruus. I know she called my name. Then the lightning struck in the tree and the force-field around the arena... blew out."

"It was Katniss that blow it, Peeta", says Caesar. "You have seen the tapes."

"She didn't know what she was doing. No one succseeded to follow Beetees plan. You can she that she is trying to figure out what to do with the wire", hisses Peeta in respons.

"Okay. But it looks suspicious", says Caesar. Peeta comes to his feet and lean over Caesar with his hands on the interiewers arms of the chair. "Really? And was it her plan that Johanna would almost kill her, too? That the electric shock would paralyse her? To start the bombings?" Now he is yelling. "She didn't know anything, Caesar! None of us knew anything more than we tried to keep each other alive!" 

Caesar lays an hand on Peetas chest as a gesture of understanding in the same time as a will to protect himself. "Shore Peeta, I belive you."

"Okay." Peeta straighten himself, takes his hands of the chair and comb his hair back so the blonde carefully done curls tousle. He throws himself back in the chair and look desperate. 

Caesar sits quiet a moment and studies Peeta. "And your mentor, then? Haymitch Abernathany?" Peetas face hardens. "I don't know how much he knew."

"Could he have had a part in the plot?" asks Caesar. "He didn't say anything about it", answers Peeta. Caesar is to stubborn to leave the subject. "What does your heart say?"

"That I shouldn't have trusted him", says Peeta. "Nothing else."

I haven't met Haymitch since I attacked him on the hover-craft and left long claw marks in his face. I know he haven't had it easy. In District 13 is it forbidden to both make and consume alcohol and even the alcohol in the hospital is kept behind locks. Haymitch is finally forced to a sober living, without secret storages and home-made mixture to relief.

They hold him locked up until he is totally drained, since he isn't seemed to be suitable to show up publicly . It have to be painfull, but I have lost all sympathy for Haymitch since I realised he tricked us. I hope he see this transmission, so he understand that even Peeta take his distance from him.

Caesar pat Peeta on the shoulder. "We can end now if you want."

"Is there anything more to talk about?" Asks Peeta ironiclly. "I was going to ask you about your opinion about the war, but if you are too over-heated...", starts Caesar.

"No, that I am not over-heated for." Peeta takes a deep breath and looks right into the camera. "I want the people who is watching- either you on the the Capitols or the rebels side- to stop and think on what this war will mean. For humanity. One time earlier have we almost wiped out ourselfs in a war. Now we are even less and our coditions even worse. Is this really what we want? To kill ourselfs? In the hope- of what? That some nice animal kind will inherit the smocking leftovers of the planet?"

"I don't know... I am not sure I understand what you are...", says Caesar.

"We can't fight each other, Caesar", Peeta excplains. "We do to have to survive. If we don't put down our weapons- and then I mean  _very soon_ \- will everything be over, in what case so ever."

"You... want an cease-fire?" Asks Caesar. "Yes. I want an cease-fire", Peeta says tired. "Now I think that we ask the guards to take me to my living quarters so I can build hundred house of cards more." 

Caesar turns to the camera. "Right. Yes, I think that there is a good finish. Back to the ordinary program-schedule."

They go out to a accompaniment of music and then reads a woman up a list of resourses that it will be limited by in the Capitol- fresh fruit, sunbatteries, soup. I look at her with bigger intresed than usual, since I understand that everyone is waiting for my reaction on the intervew. 

But I can absoulutely not process all this so fast- the happiness over seeing Peeta alive and well, his protection of my unknowingness of the rebels plan and the support for the Capitol through his want of an cease-fire. Shore, he ot it to sound like a good idea for both sides in the war. But as the situation is now, when the rebels just won a few battles, would a cease-fire just be like it was before. Or worse.

Behind me I hear how th accusations agains peeta grow. The words  _traitor_ ,  _liar_  and  _enemy_  bounce on the walls. Since I don't want to atribeute in the rebels rage or anything to put against, I decide that the best I can do is leave. When I reach the door, booms Coins voice above the others. "You aren't allowed to leave, private Everdeen."

One of Coins mens lay a hand on my arm. It isn't an aggressive movement, but after the arena I get into defence-positon as soon as someone unfamiliar touch me. I jerk my arm away and start running in the hallways. Behind me I hear a commotion but I don't stop. 

My brain quickly thinks of my small weird hidding places and I end up in the school storage, curled up against a box of board crayons. 

"Your alive", I whisper and press my hands against my cheeks where I can feel a smile so wide that it have to look like a grimace. Peeta is alive. And a traitor. But for the moment I don't care. Not what he says, not who he says it for, just that he can still talk. 

As I think of how happy I am for him to be alive, I realize that I have had the same feelings everytime I have been around him- especially before the victory tour- longing and happiness. But also love.  _I love Peeta Mellark._  I have been too worried about the games, the uprising and keeping my family alive to notice.  _I love Peeta Mellark._  

The same words bounce around in my head for what feels like minutes before the door opens and someone sneaks in. Gale steps in and the thoughts leave my mind when I see his bleeding nose. He slides down next to me. 

"What happened?" I ask. "I got in the way for Boggs", he answer with an shrug. I dry his nose with my arm. "Be careful!"

I try to be more gentle and pat instead of drying. "Who is that?"

"Oh, you know, Coins right hand and lackey. He who tried to stop you." He push my hand away. "Stop it! You are going to make me bleed to death." The dripping have grown into a flow. I stop my tries at first aid. "Did you fight with Boggs?"

"No, I standed in the door opening when he tried to follow you. His elbow hit my nose", says Gale. "They are going to punish you", I say. 

"Already did." He holds up his wrist. I stare at it not understanding. "Coin took my wristradio."

I bite myself in the lip to not start laughing, because it seems redicoulus. "Sorry, soldier Gale Hawthorne."

"Don't be, soldier Katniss Everdeen." He smiles wide. "I felt like a nerd with that on." We burst out laughing.

That is one of the few good things with thirteen. That I have Gale back. Now when the Capitols arranged marrige for me and Peeta isn't in focus any more we have found our way back to our friendship. He dosen't try to push our relashionship longer than that- he dosen't try to kiss me or talk about love- which I am very grateful for. Maybe he knows about my true feelings for Peeta, I mean he knows me better than I know myself. 

"He is still trying to protect you Katniss. He still loves you", he says and all the happiness have dissapered from his face. "And I know that you feel the same about him."

I look down at my hospital braclet. Yes, I am absolutely insane especially now with that plan in my head. I know Gale talks to me, but I can't hear what he says, all I can hear and think of is my plan. I can feel him shaking, yelling at me to respond. After what feels like hours I surface back to reality and notice Gale is gone. 

I probably scared him away. Just like everyone else. Maybe it's for the best.

I lift myself up and slowly start to walk to apartment 307. As I wander the halls I see a few people from twelve giving me looks of pity. When I open the door to 307 I get engulfed in a hug by Prim and over her shoulder I see mother looking at the ground which she does everytime she worries about either me or Prim. I get it as they saw the interview.

Prim lets go of me and I kiss her on the cheek before going to my bed and plan the final thouches for my small but efective plan. And when the clock hits 22:00 I lay down on my bed and go to sleep (which will probably be interupted by nightmeres) and I got tommorows plans ready. As I slip into the dark shadows of sleep one thing sticks in my mind:  _I am going to save Peeta_.


	3. Chapter 3

Katniss

The clock is about twelve when I wake up. It's time to put my plan into work. I look over at my mother and Prim, with Buttercup by her feet, asleep. So slowly, not to wake them, I make my way to the small warderobe we have. I pull out a grey hoodie that matches my gray thirteen uniform. 

They don't have much colour here. Just grey, white and a little bit of black. The people from the Capitol hates it, but the ones that have grown up here don't complain. Neither do I, it's better than walking around naked.

In a box under our beds we have flashlights. I grab mine and walk out in the dark hallways of thirteen. I pull my hood up so no one can recognise me, turn on the flashlight and start walking to command. It takes time since I have to stop once in a while to not be noticed by the guards walking around since it's forbidden to be up walking by now, but I finally reach command. Beetee is in there around the clock, except when it's time for food or for a few hours of sleep. It's around now when he usually leaves to go to his apartment.

I stay behind for a few minutes until I finally see him open the door and roll out on his wheelchair. He leaves, but I still wait a few seconds to be sure he is really gone. Then I walk up to the door and peek inside. Not a soul to be seen only the normal computers and the big television in the middle of the room. So I slowly walk in and up to one of the computers and go in on the calling program and dig deep into my memory and try to remember the phone number on the small piece of paper Snow had give to me the day of the Victory Tour. He had gived it to me in case I needed something, sometime in the future. 

The phone number; 012-345-67 comes to my mind and I immediately know that that is right. I take down the hood, press the numbers and then press the green button where it stands 'call'. I take a step back and wait for him to answer. The only way to call on these computers are to do a face call. "President Snow, it's Katniss Everdeen. I need to speak to you. Please." The sceen sparks to life and there stands Snow with a white rose in his pocket like usual.

"Ah, miss Everdeen what a pleasant suprise", Snow says and I can almost feel his blood scented breath. "Now, both you and I know that you wouldn't call me without a good reason. So what is it?"

I look into his snake like eyes and say: "I have a agreement and I hope that you accept it." he gives me a look that tells me to go on. I take a deep breath. "Peeta and the other victors that are in the Capitol will be taken to thirteen, unharmed. And in exchange the Capitol, you, gets me. You can do whatever you want to me; execute me, torture me or hold me against the rebels. Whatever you do, don't hurt Peeta." When I finish, Snow looks shocked but he quickly recover. 

He gives me a nod of approval. "I accept your offer. You have two days to say goodbye to your loved ones then we will come and pick you up and also leave the victors. We will come late in the evening and it's the best for you that you come. Have a nice day miss Everdeen." And then the screen goes black and I feel tears running down my face. 

I don't know if the tears are from the happiness that Peeta won't be in pain or if it's the sadness from only have two days left with the ones I love before I may be dead or if it's the regret of what I have done. I pull up the hood again and walk to the apartment. Once I am inside I throw off the hoodie and climb under the covers and fall into a sleep full of nightmares about mutts, blood and white roses.

\--------------

Two days have passed since Snow accepted my agreement. And tonight I will be going to the Capitol. I am supposed to say goodbye to my family, but I know if I do, they will lock me up and not letting me save the others. If that happened Peeta would probably get more hurt and in the end Snow would kill him. I try not to think about it, but it dosen't work. All I can be happy for is that Peeta isn't going to be hurt anymore.

If I told them farewell they would probably lock me up in our apartment or worse, the hospital. I am tired of being in the hospital.

I erase another sentence. I'm sitting by the desk and try to write a goodbye letter. I have decided to write a letter instead of saying my goodbyes face to face. Like I said, they would lock me up. And when I am done writing, I will start preparing for my trip to the Capitol.

I sit there and think of a way of saying 'good bye', 'I'm sorry' and why I did it. I've skipped brekfeast, lunch and am planning on skipping dinner too. I don't care about food, all I care about is helping Prim and keeping Peeta alive. 

Prim and my mother are working late in the hospital wich gives me time to think. Prim is training to be a nurse and this far it's been doing great. Mother worked as twelves nurse so she continues to be here. 

Coin, Plutarch, Fulvia even Boggs have been nagging me to become the Mockingjay. They think that the interview would make me want to fight, but no, I won't. The interview made me see that Peeta was alive and then I knew that we could rescue him.

Suddenly an idea pops into my head and I begin to write my letter; 

"Dear mother, Prim, Gale, Haymitch, Finnick and, hopefully, Peeta, when you are reading this I will be in the Capitol and there is nothing you can do abot it. I will be in the Capitol and I probably won't come back. It was my own choice to go to the Capitol, I did it to save Peeta and the other victors. I know that you can't forgive me for this and I am glad you can't since I don't deserve forgivness. I wrote this letter since I know that if I said my goodbyes face to face you would lock me up and never let me out. My goodbyes goes the following:

Mom; don't zone out again. You can't. Prim needs you now more than ever and I would never forgive you. I love you mom and never forget that.

Prim; my little duck. I love you so much and I want you to remember that. Don't let mom zone out again and make sure you keep everyone going. You always have had your ways with people. When they feel sad, angry or scared you can make them happy. Oh, and Prim: just ask Rory our! I know you like him and also that he likes you. I love you my little duck and nothing will ever change that. I understand why I did what I did.

Gale; I know you love me, and I love you too, just in a diffrent way. I love you like a brother. But please don't hate me, you have to understand. And please do me a favour and watch over my mother and Prim. You are the best friend, hunting partner and fake cousin I could ever ask for. Say goodbye to your siblings from me. Keep hating the Capitol, it will help the rebellion.

Haymitch; you old drunk. You might not have been the nicest, but you still cared for me and I cared for you. Ever since you offered me booze on the day of the Quell announcement I have seen you as my step-father. Yes, you can be drunk, but you can also be caring, nice and smart. And if you ever meet Effie again, tell her that I consider her as a friend. You are one of the wisest humans I ever met.

Finnick; I hope you are happy now when you have Annie by your side. Don't push her away like it's her fault I am gone, because it isn't. It's my own. But I also want you to know that you are like a step-brother to me. You protected me in the arena just like a brother would do. The first time I met you, I thought you were some kind of Capitol puppet, but I slowly got to know our hate torwards the Capitol, torwards Snow and I got to know about Annie, the love of your life. In the end I realised you were a very nice guy. I may not have known you for a long time, but you are one of my very few friends.

And last but not least, Peeta; I love you. I have ever since the beginning, I just didn't realise it. But I did after your interview. Knowing that you was still alive and that I maybe could have a future with you. But then I realised you were in the Capitol and that Snow could kill you whenever he wanted to, so I went to the Capitol in your place. I know you will never fully forgive me for breaking your heart. You have to promise me that you won't do anything foolish. I love you. My love for you will always live on, even if I don't. Always.

Maybe we all will see each other again, maybe we don't. But you have to understand that I couldn't live with myself when I knew I could do something but didn't. You all will have a special place in my heart, beating or not. And you all have to do me a favour: take down the Capitol and kill Snow for me. Stop the Hunger Games and free Panem from Snow's power. From- Katniss Everdeen, the girl that was on fire."

It isn't my best but at least I tried. I fold the letter and put it in a envelope and write on the top Mother, Prim, Gale, Haymitch, Finnick and Peeta. It's dedicated to them so it's the best to adress it to them so nobady else reads it. I walk over and lay it on my bed, then walk back to the desk and find a scissor and cut of the 'mentally disoriented' braclet and throw it in the thrash can.

I take my hunting bag and put in a few clothes and a few belongings. I find the pearl and the locket Peeta gave me. I leave the locket, but keep the pearl. Then I sip it up and put it aside. 

In the drawer beside my bed I find my mockingjay pin. It's a gift from a friend I couldn't save from the fire, just another person that is dead because of me. I sigh before placing it on the bed above the letter. If anyone should have it, besides me, it should be my family/friends.

I was lucky. 21:00-evening stroll. Which means I will be allowed to go out and walk in the forrest, wich will make my escape easy. Right now the clock is 20:48 wich means I better start walking. I pick up the bag and head down the hallways until I reach the big doors. I show the guards my arms schedule and they open the door for me. Once outside I can feel myself relax in the toughts of soon being away from here. 

I go and sit in the edge of the woods on a boulder. I hear birds, mockingjays, in the trees. I feel safe in the woods. They are my second home, my chance to escape reality once in a while. It's the place I could be truly happy and the place I had shared with my father. Now when my father is dead, the woods feel like they are alive in the presence of him. But all that is the forrest of District 12. These woods are diffrent, they are more... unknown and dark.

I look at the amazing black and white birds, the birds that symbols hope and revolution. The bird that wold have changed the world. The jabberjays, the mockingjays and I have one thing in common, we all revolted against the Caitol. The jabberjays; in the dark days being forced to copy the rebels conversations, being told lies from them and then being released in the wild meant to die, but surviving by mating with the mockingbirds and creating the mockingjays and in that way makes their speicies survive. 

The mockingjays; being the mutation that the Capitol never meant to create and then them turning against the Capitol by the help of the rebels and me. Me; being the one without wings, then threatining the Capitol with just a handful berries that created a spark of hope that uncontained growed into a wildfire that, I hope, will take down the goverment we know today. 

All of the sudden all the mockingjays become quiet except one that gives a loud shriek and a sharp wind blowing over the trees. I look up and see a hover-craft with the Capitol mark on it. A ladder is let down and I hesitately walk over to it and I climb up and attach to the ladder with electricy and get pulled on-board. Inside I am still attach to the ladder and I wait for someone to come and help me of. After a while I finally hear footsteps, but instead of being helped off I feel a needle piercing my neck and feel cold liquid seeping through my veins. I lay there scared until I feel sleepiness pulling me into a unwanted sleep.

\-----------

I wake up alone and notice that I am cuffed to a chair in a big office full of papers, golden Capitol logos and white roses. Looking around the room I see a name tag on the desk saying: 'Coriolanus J Snow'. I am in president Snow's office, I am in the Capitol. 

At least I know that Peeta is safe. I start to wriggle in the chair and try to get free from it. I try until I feel the cuffs digg into my arms and blood trickle down my wrists. The blood drip onto the floor and form a small puddle.

I hear someone outside the door and the door opens and Snow walks in together with two peacekeepers and a maid. They see the blood on my wrists and on the floor and I hear Sow sigh. He orders the maid to clean it up. The maid quickly cleans up and then walks out of the room. Snow then turns to me. He grins and something makes him look like a snake.

"So little Mockingjay. Now you are here, what now?" He says with a smug voice. 

I give him a look that says 'seriously'. "When I called you, I said that you could do whatever you want with me. And if you make me choose my fate then I choose that you kill me. I've already said goodbye to everyone and it would spare you some time." I say with a shrug of my shoulders.

He walks closer to me and grabs my face. He tilt it side to side and I remember that Clove did the same thing in the first games. Snow stops tilting my head and looks me dead in the eyes. "Kill you and spare my fun? Kill you and not getting the honour to see your fire disappearing from your eyes?" He says mockingly. 

At first I am confused. His fun? Then I realize that it's this he had planned from the beginning. He have planned to torture me until I break. He will torture me until I beg for him to kill me.

He turn to the peacekeepers and tell them to take me to my 'new apartment'. Snow walks out of the office while the two peacekeepers walk over to me and unlock the cuffs. My first thought is to run but before I have time to take a step, they take my arms and make me stand. 

They puts on new cuffs and then take me out of the office and lead me outside into a van. They make me sit down in the back of the van and put on a blindfold so I can't see anything, so I don't know where we are going. The van starts to drive and three minutes later it stops. I feel someone grab me again and they lead me through a room, I guess. 

Sometimes I trip over my own feet since I can't see and I can feel a smell that I recognise, I just can't put my finger on where. The peacekeepers says that there is stairs ahead and I carefully walk down. Once down all of them, they tell me to stop. They take off my blindfold and I see that I am in a dark corridor. The corridor is long, dark and quiet. 

I walk down the corridor together with the peacekeepers and see that there are different rooms on either side of the corridor. They open one of the doors and throw me inside. Once inside I realise that this 'rooms' actually are cells. 

The walls, roof and floor is all a light gray and padded. There are no windows, no clock, no colour. There is a wooden desk and a door that is barely visible. There is no bed, but I guess I can sleep on the floor since it's padded. 

I look up at the door I came in from and see that the door has disappeared. After the first games, when I was in the hospital, it was a similar door, camouflaged as a wall, with no handle on the inside and locks everytime the door close. There is no way I can escape from here.

I decide to go and check what's on the other side of the door. It will maybe lead to a room full with mutts or to something that will threaten my sanity. Or it maybe it's a huge cafeteria with lots of food. The last one is most likely not true, but I am so hungry I can't help but think about food. And I probably won't get any food anytime soon.

I open the door and inside I find a shower, a toilet, a cabinet and a sink. I'm shocked that they gave me this, I mean, if you just look at this room and not the other one, it kind of looks like a hotel. But of course, it's the Capitol. Even the cells are luxurious.

I look inside the cabinet and find towels, a comb and some toilet paper. It dosen't feel like I am a prisoner, it feels like it did before I went into the games. When I came to the Capitol I thought I were going to live in a dark, wet cell deep under ground. 

I go out from the bathroom and see the plain room, only the wooden desk that brings colour to the small room. The desk dosen't have any drawers, so there can't be any items there. I go and sit in the corner and try to go to sleep. After about twenty minutes, the temperature drops. It gets cold and I start to shake. After lying on the floor for a few minutes, freezing, I go into the bathroom and take some towels. 

I walk back to where I was previously lying, then I sat down and created like a cocoon of towels. It helps a little from the cold but not much. Instead of lying back down, I curl up in a ball and lean my head against the wall. The night goes on and about every ten minutes I wake up screaming from nightmares. 

When I wake up the 10th, I give up on having a peaceful sleep and decide to stay awake. I notice that there is a tray of food by the door. There is some mashed potatoes, a steak and a glass of milk. I eat the food quietly. When I've eaten all I put the tray away and just look at the door. 

I feel my sight turning out of focus and feel a flashback coming. And suddenly I'm not in my cell, I'm back in my first games. I feel myself start to hypeventilate and I cover my ears with my hands. Cato, Clove, Glimmer, Marvel, Rue and Tresh start to whisper and yelling things in my head. They say that it's my fault they are dead and that people in the Districts are dying because of me. 

I start to ramble my list of things I know over and over again.

My name is Katniss Everdeen. I am seventeen years old. I come from District 12. Twelve was destroyed. I was in the Hunger Games. Twice. Yesterday I was in District 13. Now I am in the Capitol. I saved Peeta. I love Peeta. I will probably never meet him again... 

After rambling it about eight times, I surface back into reality. I take a deep breath and calm my heart beat. Of everything I said in the list one line stay with me. 'I will probably never meet him again'. It's true, Snow will loose interest in me and kill me.

I wish I could say goodbye to him, give him a kiss. Then he would beg me to stay and I would tell him sorry over and over again. And when the peacekeepers drag us away from each other, I would say 'I love you'. Then they would knock him out and I would probably start crying.

I'm glad I saved him. Even if it means it will break his heart.


End file.
